Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
