So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
