we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
