Yo dont text me then not text me
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
