Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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