he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Did I show you my penis last night?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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