Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
