WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
