I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Floor bacon is actually really good
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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