Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
