I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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