You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
