the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It's official drugs can't kill me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
