omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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