just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
