Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He did a backflip because drugs
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