i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
40s are totally the cure
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
