Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
