i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
