that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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