Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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