I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Sext me about skeletons
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
