Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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