I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
