New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
