strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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