i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We had to coat check the pizza.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
