I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
