Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
