corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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