I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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