clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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