I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize