Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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