its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
