I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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