Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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