yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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