I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize