I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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