Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
