It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I need to align my fucking chakras
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
