Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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