you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
