Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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