Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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