Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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