I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
