we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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