Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
