Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
well you can't waste a boner
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
