I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I think i got beer on your cat.
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