And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
