miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
