i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
