Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
