Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
