PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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