we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize