Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
