i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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