I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
