chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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