Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
