i think i have herpe
just one?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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