Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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